What’s up people. I’m coming at you LIVE from a place that I consider to be a modern wonder of the world: LaGuardia. This place gets a lot of unwarranted hate. I’m not sure what it used to be like, but I’m certain that this one of the nicer airports I’ve been to. Next time you’re flying to a niche city in this great country, I hope you’re lucky enough to experience a 45 minute layover at this little slice of heaven in Queens. Go see the fountain, you won’t be disappointed.
It’s winter. I hate to break it to you, but it’s here. If at any point in the day I see a 3 as the first number of the temp, it’s winter. We had a good run folks. I hope you followed my advice and dusted off those coats and wool socks, because the 2 minute walk to the bus stop in the morning is about to feel like a hike up Everest. I feel bad for all the poor souls who will forget their coats in the Capo Basement coat check this season. On second thought I wont feel bad at all, but at least I’m thinking about them!
Is this real?
Sabrina Carpenter and Zach Top are two of the hottest names in music right now. I recently happened to listen to both of their top hits in succession and I think I may have accidentally discovered something about their past. I’m 80% sure that the guy that SC (only true fans call her this) is talking about in ‘Espresso’ is actually Zach Top, and that the girl that Zach Top is singing about in ‘I Never Lie’ is SC. Here’s my hunch.
The whole point of Espresso is that one of SC’s former lovers simply can’t sleep at all knowing that he fumbled her, which is fair. This person has apparently become pretty desperate and “won’t stop calling”.
Zach Top spends the duration of I Never Lie assuring someone that he has “slept like a baby since you said goodbye”. Mr. Top is obviously lying. Later, Zachary explains that he’s found someone new, and that’s she’s a model in LA. Another lie. Zach seems pretty hell bent on lying to this person to prove that he is not in fact in shambles, but thriving. Sound desperate? There’s also the piece where Zach mentions the person’s recent promotion this past April. I was bummed when I realized that the Espresso EP came out in May, but let’s just pretend it was April!
Anyways, I’d be willing to bet that Zach Top sleeps terribly, especially since I now know that this “Angel” he’s talking about is none other than our girl SC.
I think I may be going insane and I’m sorry you had to read this, but there a chance I’m correct.
Soup Season
I’m a certified soup addict. These days, I’ll gladly slurp up any broth, stew, or soup that is placed in front of me. I’m pretty convinced that cans of Campbell’s Chunky are the best deal in any grocery store. They’re BOGO half the time, and when they’re not they’re still only $3. One soup on my bucket list is the Crab Bisque that Elaine orders from the Soup Nazi’s stand in Seinfeld. Do you know how good that soup must’ve been to make those people follow orders like that? It’s high on the list of fictional foods that I find myself craving. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, or have never seen Seinfeld, please grow up!
I wasn’t planning on this, but here’s my ranking of fictional foods I wish I could try:
The Krabby Patty (SpongeBob)
I mean come on. This burger was so good that it literally ripped the soul out of a microscopic marine organism, forcing it to live out its days in a state of madness. Come on. I want to try it so bad.
Crab Bisque (Seinfeld)
See above. No soup for you!
The Entire Dinner Spread from that one Scene of Talladega Nights (Talladega Nights)
I’ve probably eaten this meal in the aggregate, but never in one complete sitting. Every fiber of my being wants to sit at a table with my boys, pray to sweet baby infant Jesus, and mow down all the fast food imaginable while slamming Mountain Dew. Man that scene rocks. What a movie. I’m starving. Sadly everything at this airport is $10 more than it should be, and I’m broke!
This Rocks
I’d feel like I was cheating you all if I didn’t mention this. I’m lowkey addicted to touch tunes, and I recently saw something much better. This dude at a Piano Bar was taking Venmo’s to play any song on this list. What a world. Maybe on a random day here soon I’ll Venmo him for a song that I know the people at the bar will love. There’s so many options here, but I’m curious to see what you all would queue up. Let me know.
Song of The Week: Meet Me at the Creek by Billy Strings
It’s no secret that this man Billy is a magician. Put this on, close your eyes, and forget you exist for 9 minutes. From the 4 minute mark on you’ll be floating. Godspeed.
Always great to see/hear from another Sabrina Carpenter fan! Always enjoy reading your weekly post!
P.S. I'm seeing her concert in St. Louis tonight 😆
The SC x ZT deep dive is really intriguing. I'm sold.